The Ultimate Insult

I don’t usually bother reading much of the spam that gets sent my way, but there was something about the subject “Re: Please confirm your interest (code Hospital)” that made me take a look. Screw the old Nigerian scams, this is a new (to me) plea for help that I almost want to get involved with just to see what they email back.

Click more if you’d like to see the email that has so entertained me today. It has liver damaged!

Hello,

This is Cajurao Gubuat from Philippines; I am writing from the hospital in Cote d?Ivoire, therefore this mail is very urgent as you can see that I am going home. Dying soon!!

I was told by the doctor that I was poisoned and has got my liver damaged and can only live for some months. I inherited some money (Twelve million five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) from my late father and I cannot think of anybody trying to kill me apart from my step mother in order to inherit the money, she is a citizen of Cote D?Ivoire.

I want you to contact my house servant with this information?s below:
MISS. ZARINA UZUAKU
Abidjan, Cote D’Ivoire. West Africa
Email: zarinauzuaku@yahoo.co.jp

She will give you the documents of the money and will direct you to a well known lawyer that I have appointed to him; the lawyer will assist you to change the documents of the money to your name to enable the bank transfer the money to you.

This is the favor I need when you have gotten the money:-

(1) Give 15% of the total money to my house servant (MS. MISS. ZARINA UZUAKU) as she has been there for me throughout my illness and I have promised to support her in life. I want you to take her along with you to your country and establish her as my daughter.

(2) Give 25% of the money to Charity Organizations and Churches on my name so that my soul may rest in peace.

Note: This should be a code between you and MISS. MISS. ZARINA UZUAKU in this transaction “Hospital” any mail from him without this code “Hospital” is not from her or myself as I don’t know what will happen to me in the next few hours.

(3) Request the lawyer’s international passport; and Let Zarina sends you her National ID as she has no passport to be sure of whom you are dealing with. She is so little therefore guide her.

I will send you my personal documents when I hear from you and if I don’t hear from you within two days, I will look for another person.

May God bless you and use you to accomplish my wish. Pray for me always.

Sincerely,

Cajurao Gubuat

Now wasn’t that awesome? Come on, it has drama, suspense and liver damaged. What more could you want?